I pay the bills by working as an e-commerce analyst for Corporate Express.

I possess an Technician Class FCC Amateur Radio License. They assigned me the callsign N0ZAP. Which provides slight amusement.

I used to work at the Campus Television Studios at CSU, where I was everything from studio grunt to show director. I handled all the technical stuff, there. I won two Emmy Awards while working there. However, after a flood destroyed the station, I sort of lost interest.

So CDLewis sent me this thing. Usually, I would have killed it with extreme prejudice as more crap in my mailbox. Except that I decided it could actually be kinda useful, if I put it up on this page. Then I wouldn't have to send it to everyone! Damn, I'm smart!

• NAME: Michael Dwyer, not "Mike", and not "Mikey". You don't know me that well, yet.
• NICKNAME: mdwyer, zap, no-zap, YourMom. Many people just call me "Dwyer".
• BIRTHPLACE: Some hospital in Denver, Colorado, USA
• ARE YOU A LEFTY, RIGHTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS?: Righty
• LIVING ARRANGEMENT: My own brick ranch in suburbia.
• WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM: Art by Dennis Mukai, and some landscapes
• FAVORITE COLOR(S): Green. Not that weak seafoam, though. What's that crap? I want strong, saturated colors!
• WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD: Lextra -- The mousing surface that kicks your ass.
• FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: Soccer.
• FAVORITE CD: That changes too much. Right now, it is Delerium.
• FAVORITE TYPES OF MUSIC: Rock, techno/trance/dance, jazz, big band stuff.
• FAVORITE FRAGRANCE: Fresh laundry from the clothes-line, or spray starch.
• FAVORITE SMELLS: The smell of new electronics
• FAVORITE SALAD DRESSING: Italian.
• CROUTONS OR BACON BITS: Croutons
• FAVORITE FOOD: Burgers.
• DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI: Ummm... Yeah, doesn't everyone?
• FAVORITE DRINK: I drink a LOT of iced tea.
• FAVORITE ICE CREAM: Mint Chip
• FAVORITE SODA: Coca-cola, but I can't drink it anymore...
• FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: I'm a bit of a beer-snob, if I drink at all. Nothing in clear bottles or silver cans.
• TOOTHPASTE: Aquafresh. My dentist told me to. The new Extreme Clean stuff is like brushing with Altoids! Yow!
• ADIDAS, NIKE OR REEBOK: Reebok if I have to. Anything but Nike
• WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: 81 Dodge Aries K - Affectinally called "The Grape"
• FAVORITE SCHOOL SUBJECT: Data Communications
• LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT: Calculus. 'Nuff said.
• MOST HUMILIATING EVENT: Like I'm gonna tell you.
• EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME: I had a traffic accident, does that count?
• EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: Ummm...no.
• WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OUIJA BOARDS: Stupid.
• THING YOU THINK WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING: Think?! "What the hell is that noise? Where are my glasses?!"
• WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: A friend. Is that so rare?
• YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW: Pretender. Maybe Farscape. Keen Eddie is kind of fun. Mythbusters, certainly!
• FAVORITE WEB SITE: Google.com
• FAVORITE MAGAZINE: Well, I finally subscribed to Wired, but I think that was more to have something to put on my coffee table.
• FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME: I like Dune a bit, I guess.
• SHAMPOO OR CONDITIONER: Uh. Both. Duh. Or do you mean which kind? That Aussie stuff.
• MATERCARD OR VISA: Both.
• WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Pain. Inflamed big toe.
• BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Euphoria. Dosed on opiates in a dentist's chair.
• SCARY EVENT: Lost in another country.
• PETS: DOG OR CAT: No dog yet.
• STORMS - COOL OR SCARY: Cool, I guess.
• ROLLER COASTERS-SCARY OR EXCITING: Uhhh... nauseating.
• DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE: Only if I don't have to go anywhere.
• IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE: Nobody I could think of...
• WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK IN THE BIBLE: Haven't read it. I've got better books.
• WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE POET: Dr. Suess or Shel Silverstein
• IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE: Starship pilot. Hey, you said ANY.
• IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE: Blue?
• WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER: 42.
• ONE PILLOW OR TWO: Two.
• DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL: No.
• IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL: The glass is too big.
• FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR: Summer
• YOUR BAD TIME OF DAY: Mornings
• DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS: More or less.
• WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED: Absolutely NOTHING! Not even LINT! Hooray Roomba!
• WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR: It might be nice to trade up to a Subaru Impreza WRX STi, but mostly cars don't do it for me.
• FAVORITE MOVIE YOU HAVE SEEN RECENTLY: CONfidence. Great caper movie, with a great soundtrack.
• FAVORITE TOWN TO CHILL IN: I'm still fond of Fort Collins.
• GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: Oh, sure.
• FUTURE DAUGHTER'S NAME: Alex.
• FUTURE SON'S NAME: Hey you.
• BEST ON-LINE FRIENDS: I know all my online friends in real life. Does that count?
• FAVORITE FAMILY BOARD GAME TO PLAY: Sorry! Not really a board game, but you gotta give Set a try!
• HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE: 2 to get the Caller ID. If I don't like you, you go to voice mail.
• HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE: Maybe... I've been too obtuse to notice if I was...
• LAST TIME YOU WENT OUT (FRIENDS/DATE): Last night!